Been A While....

Been a while since I came here. I've been like a vanishing one most of the time. I feel great but i m trying to catch up with the fast pace of life. Ramadan came and I was ready to make the best of it, enthusiasm to be better. To attain piety, just as the month is meant for. Now the blessed month is saying bye-bye, yet I wonder how much I have changed. Of course some things have improved in me, but I can't really say I've become a whole new person. I just hope that those little ibaadat are accepted and He includes me and you among the righteous and successful ones. Ameen!

I tried to blog since the beginning of Ramadan, but apparently Allah didn't will it. I keep writing. Journaling though. I keep reflecting on life and actions. Trying to be a truly good person. And I keep wondering how the little we do today affect our tomorrow. In the end, the question is: "Is Allah pleased with me?".

Life and it's journey. It ends one day. But before then is a series of stage to stage. I am a simple hearted girl. As much as I am growing everyday, I still feel like a girl. The girl who is already in the womanhood realm yet finds it odd to fully accept that she is a woman now. Yea it's funny how we grow. But yes life goes on. We move from stage to stage. I wonder what kind of a woman I'm going to be. 

It's been a while since I sat by myself and just smile and reminisce about my life. It's been a while since I had fun just by myself. I've been busy with my mind preoccupied over màny other things. I am just me. Hoping to be loved by Allah. People say I am delicate and fragile. While they may not be wrong, I still marvel at how Allah keeps me strong with a strong will. While I feel far from the world, I know my Lord is with me.

To be a noble woman has always been my dream. But heck, nobility is not easy. I still keep wondering about what kind of legacy I'm gonna leave behind after I'm gone. And what benefits others enjoy through me long after I'm gone. Have I been doing all I really need to do to achieve my dream? Perhaps life's going so fast and it's hard to catch up. But the little I can, I'm trying.

In case you are wondering what I'm talking about and why I sound strange (if you think I do). Yea this is Khawlah. Always reflecting about the wholeness of life...