ABOUT THIS BLOG

For a while now, I have been asking myself about this blog and what I intend to achieve with it. Well, as the name (One Beautiful Deer) implies, I am an individualistic and simple-going person. It's not a big thing or something extraordinary. It is a personal thing - a personal blog. Directed to whoever cares to know me, my thinking, my deepest ambitions, my life. To whoever is similar to me in personality and struggles and experiences and goals, perhaps you'll connect with my writings.

So why deer?
It's deer because it's the meaning of my name. Khawlah means "female deer". I remember back in my teenage days, I used to hate my name lool. Because I just couldn't find its meaning. It's a very rare name among female Muslims and I just couldn't get it. Even my parents dont know the meaning or the correct pronounciation especially back then. They named me only after my grandma. People laughed at me for my name and teased me calling it an old woman's name. It wasn't pronounced or spelt correctly as this because it was a very rare name and not many people knew about it. Annoying when my name was mis-pronounced and worst of all was when I couldn't find a meaning for it. But when I grew much older, I googled the meaning of khawlah and found in several places that it means " female deer”. 'Hmm how strange!' I thought. I wondered how a human could bear the name of an animal. Kinda absurd right? Yea I see it on people's faces whenever I tell them the meaning now.

Anyways, I began to wonder what's so special about deers. I mean it has to be really special before a human being could be named after a deer. And believe me, the moment I learnt about deers, I fell in love with my name. I fell in love with deers. So the more information i discovered about them, the more similarities I found between myself and them. Deers are really beautiful creatures. But their beauty is not one so flashy and colorful like other attractive animals, yet you will feel their beauty oozing from deep within. I have heard a lot of people gushing so hard about the amazing beauty of deers: their graceful and beautiful countenance, their ravenous drive for peace, purpose and spirituality, their sharp senses to notice, hear and observe things, their small heads and thin legs heehe, their fast and swift nature, their inquisitiveness, their friendliness, their living so far away in the thick of the forest rather than among the common animals, their love and quest for adventure, their bravery, their rarity etc. So many attributes so beautiful that I could connect with. I once read a quote that says: "In a race between lion and deer, many times the deer wins, because lion runs for food and deer for life. Purpose is more important than need". Although I do not know the truthfulness of this, but it only showed me more about the amazingness of deers. All of these made me realize that I have such a beautiful name.

Then reading about the stories of the Sahabiyyats (female companions) who bore that name: Khawlah bint Al-Azwar (first female Muslim warrior or Knight), Khawlah bint Ta'alabah (the one whom Allah 'listened' to and went in the Qur'an), Khawlah bint Hakeem, etc. They were all great women in the Islamic history. They were brave and strong, yet so feminine. They were Khawlah heehe. And for that, I feel extremely honored to bear the name" Khawlah". So I know I am beautiful. And I wanna be truly deeply beautiful. And I love 'beautiful'. Hence, ONE BEAUTIFUL DEER!!!!!!!!!! 

So what's the purpose of "One Beautiful Deer"?
Am I trying to make a name for myself too? Or be the one on the mission to 'inspire' others all the time, like 'operation-save-the-world'? Or am I just trying to show off my writing skills and trying to be like those amazing inspiring Muslimah writers? Or I'm trying to let out my own voice too because everybody seems to wanna talk about themselves and say something all the time???? Well, my simple answer to all these is a BIG NO!

I am just a simple and ordinary individual. Very introverted! I most probably will never tell you anything about myself unless you ask and I see a genuine interest in you to know. Only then do I open up. It's not because I like to be secretive, but rather I don't feel very comfortable talking about myself. Imagine talking it all to someone who doesn't really care to know anyway. And I do more of listening in my conversations. But if there is anyone who really wanna know, they would ask. Like sincerely ask loool. That's just me! So I've been like this all my life.

I have thoughts, dreams just like everyone else. Deep, strong, intense at times, that only until I get a pen and a blank sheet before I can be able to sort it all out. Through writing (basically journalling), I am able to sort out my emotions, ask myself deep questions, tackle my problems and be able to forge ahead with my life. With writing, I discover myself the more and reflect on many issues and then I get my PEACE. Peace and so much more, is what I get from writing.

 So with One Beautiful Deer, I hope to share my deepest human thoughts and reflections that keep me going through life. As you can already imply by the name, it is a very personal blog revealing my personal expression. Letting you know what's in the deepest core of ME because I truly barely talk about myself. This blog is an avenue for me to connect with my true self, be real, be imperfect, be human, feel, heal and grow. Perhaps there may be someone out there just like me, who may find some little inspiration or light to forge ahead in their life. Who knows?

Also, and most importantly, I'd love to meet my Lord on Judgement Day with good deeds that I wouldn't think I did, and my Lord saying that they were the products of the good words I spoke to people and how I energised them to be better. Of course this is only a dream right now. But I pray it comes true.

I am a passionate follower of the Sunnah, striving to adhere to the manhaj of the salaf to the best of my little ability. I do NOT intend to raise my voice above the scholars. Nor do I encourage people to stop seeking Deeni knowledge due to being carried away by inspirational writings. We are for one another. Yea we are all weak and seriously struggling with something. So there is nothing bad in being a little light for another, right??????

Okayyyyy! That's all about Beautiful Deer for now!!! More to come in shaa Allah. May Allah save us from the evils of our tongues and thoughts. Allahu musta'aan! And may He be pleased with us. Ameen!